oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
