Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
