Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
