I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
