Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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