i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
we're so committed to being not committed
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
