Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
