so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
