nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
