rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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