Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
