Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize