last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
