I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
