Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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