I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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