it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
