ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
