Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
birth control should be required to get into college
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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