can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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