Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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