I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I can't put those talents on a resume
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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