I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
