Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
