drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Duck Duck Cougar?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
