it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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