I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize