The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Randomize
