I don't usually arrange sex via text message
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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