One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
