He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
