I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
