we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
