that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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