well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize