he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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