He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
