she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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