You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
