making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
