im drinking this country out of the recession.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
