like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
