I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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