so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
