I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
