Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
