I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
