i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
