3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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