2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
