We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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