i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
