My nipple is on Facebook.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
