the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I am available for nakedness
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
