Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize