I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
