How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
