Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
