Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
