Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
